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【NY Times】

Weekends growing up were spent hitting tennis balls with my coach, sketching still lives at a local art studio and practicing the violin with my private teacher. My parents endorsed my interests because we had financial security that most families in America didn't. I'm thankful that this wealth also allows me to live in one of the most affluent suburbs of New York and attend one of its best public schools, where it's not uncommon to see my peers driving to school in a Mercedes-Benz.

  

Even though I can buy glamorous things because of my family's wealth, I've never felt comfortable spending it. Some girls in my school frivolously spend their money – at the local Abercrombie, they'll point to a shirt they like and swipe their cards without batting an eyelash at the price.I use my money differently because of how I was raised. I make a beeline to the discount sections at higher-end retailers to find trendy garments and resell them on eBay to make a profit covering next semester's art supplies.

Many of my peers were fed since birth with a silver spoon, not giving a second thought to the family wealth at their disposal. I like to think I use my spoon sparingly, feeding myself only when necessary. I dislike spending my parents' money because I didn't earn any of it. I appreciate my parents endorsing my interests like violin because these hobbies are enriching, but I'm discomfited when they pay for superficial things like name-brand clothing. I'm fine just wearing thrifted shirts and discounted sneakers. I suppose it's because my mother raised me to embody a Chinese proverb that translates to "save when financially stable because the future is unknown."

At a young age, I was forced to understand what came at the price of that wealth:time with my father. When I was 8, he left to build his own canned fruits company in China. That was the first year a seat at the dinner table remained empty and a car in the garage sat untouched. Suddenly, our relationship became two five-minute phone calls per week. He'll see my brother and me only for a quarter of the year – just the equivalent of a season spent together. He couldn't come to my brother's high school graduation, and during school orchestra concerts I would take a hopeful glance at the audience to see only my mother's face in the crowd. However, he’s the reason I have a silver spoon that allows me to scoop more than just canned peaches. If he hadn't followed his ambitions, we would still be a close-knit family living in a smaller home, but maybe then thrift shopping would be mandatory instead of voluntary.

  

My love and appreciation for my father makes me honor the money he provides me with – every dollar comes at the expense of his physical distance. When my father comes to visit, he offers to buy me the newest iPhone or drive me to Bloomingdale's because of the guilt he feels for not being with us. I accept his offer sparingly because I don't want him to think of me as someone who asks for more than what I need. While everyone in school has been toting the newest iPhone since ninth grade, I took his used phone, giving up 24/7 Internet access – I didn't need to check Facebook every minute. Although I enjoy the security afforded me by his success, it doesn't diminish my determination to build a future with my own bare hands. When I leave the silver spoon too long in my mouth, I feel this nagging itch telling me to remove it, as if I'm allergic to silver. If the spoon's used sparingly, I can avoid an outbreak. But I don't mind my allergy. I embrace it because it reminds me that everything comes at a price – even silver spoons.

从小我的周末生活就是这样的：和教练练习网球、在本地一家艺术工作室学习静物素描、在私人教师指导下练习拉小提琴。我的父母支持我的兴趣爱好，因为我们和大多数美国家庭不同，在经济方面有充分保障。我很感激这笔财富：它让我能在纽约郊区最富裕的社区之一居住，在当地最好的公立学校之一读书。平时在我的学校里见到开着奔驰车上学的同学可不是新鲜事。

虽然因为家境富裕，我可以买到精美的东西，但我一直都对随意花钱感到不自在。我们学校里的一些女孩子经常去本地的A&F店购物消遣。她们会指着自己看中的衣服，连价格标签都不看一眼就刷卡买单。因为我从小所受到的教育，我花钱的方式则与她们不同。我一般会到高端商店的折扣区去购买时尚的衣服，然后到eBay上转卖，用赚得的利润购买下一学期的艺术课用品。

我的很多同学都是含着金汤匙出生的孩子，对于任由他们支配的家庭财富，他们从来不多加思索。而我则很节省地使用家里的财富，只有需要的时候才用。我不喜欢花父母的钱，因为这钱不是我挣的。我很感激父母对我兴趣爱好的支持，比如小提琴，这些爱好让人变得充实。但如果他们为我买肤浅的贵东西时，比如名牌服饰，我就会觉得不太高兴。我很乐意穿便宜的衣服和打折的运动鞋。大概是因为我妈妈一直用一句中国谚语教育我：细水长流，遇灾不愁。

我很小的时候生活就教会了我：获得家庭财富所付出的代价是什么---那就是我和爸爸一起生活的时光。我八岁的时候，他就离开我们，去中国开办自己的水果罐头公司。从那时起，餐桌前总有一个空座位，车库里总有一辆车无人使用。忽然，我和爸爸的关系变成了每周两通五分钟的电话。一年中他只有四分之一的时间——相当于一个季节的时间，能见到我和哥哥。他没能来参加我哥哥的高中毕业典礼。学校管弦乐队演出的时候我会满怀希望地在观众里寻找爸爸的身影，但始终只能在人群中找到妈妈。但是，正是因为爸爸，才让我富足到可以含着金汤匙，品尝到别人不能品尝的美味。如果他没有去追求事业，我们将会是个紧密的家庭，住在小一点的房子里，但节约开销则会成为我们的日常必须，而非选择。

我对父亲的爱与感激让我对他赚的钱格外珍惜——每一美元都是他用与家人远隔千山万水的代价换来的。爸爸回来时都会提出给我买最新款的iPhone或者开车带我去布鲁明黛百货公司(Bloomingdale's)，因为他对自己总不在我们身边而感到内疚。我会有节制地接受他的慷慨，因为我不希望他认为我是那种贪得无厌的人。从九年级开始，学校里每个人都开始用最新款的iPhone，而我用的是爸爸的旧手机，无法全天不间断地上网——我不需要分分钟查看脸书上的消息。虽然我很享受爸爸事业成功带来的安全感，但这丝毫不影响我打算靠自己双手创造未来的决心。优越生活过得久了，就会产生一种想要离开这种不劳而获的生活的感觉，仿佛我对财富过敏似的。如果我减少对家庭财富的使用，就可以避免这种感觉。我不介意自己对不劳而获的财富过敏——我很欢迎它，因为它时刻警示着我：一切所得都有代价，哪怕是看似与生俱来的财富。