How to Be
Emotionally Intelligent APRIL 7, 2015
What makes a
great leader? Knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure. To that, Daniel Goleman, author of
“Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence,” would add the ability to
identify and monitor emotions — your own and others’ — and to manage
relationships. Qualities associated with such “emotional intelligence”
distinguish the best leaders in the corporate world, according to Mr. Goleman,
a former New York Times science reporter, a psychologist and co-director of a
consortium at 1. SELF-AWARENESS Realistic self-confidence: You understand your own strengths and
limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else
on the team. Emotional insight: You understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger. 2. SELF-MANAGEMENT Resilience: You
stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from upsets. You don’t brood or panic.
In a crisis, people look to the leader for reassurance; if the leader is calm,
they can be, too. Emotional balance: You keep any distressful feelings in check — instead of blowing up at
people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is. 3.
EMPATHY Cognitive and emotional empathy: Because you understand other perspectives, you
can put things in ways colleagues comprehend. And you welcome their questions,
just to be sure. Cognitive empathy, along with reading another person’s
feelings accurately, makes for effective communication. Good listening:
You pay full attention to the other person and take time to understand what
they are saying, without talking over them or hijacking the agenda. 4. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS Compelling communication: You put your points in persuasive, clear ways so that people are motivated
as well as clear about expectations. Team playing:
People feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you.
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